Joy in the Cracks
Using Scripture to Battle Bitterness and Choose Joy
by Kristine Amundrud
Somewhere in my journal from years ago, a phrase is marked as a reminder on weathered paper: Happiness depends on circumstances—joy depends on God. It spoke to me in that particular season, and it still resonates now.
I have always been an intentional seeker of joy—especially in the desert seasons—for I have learned that joy doesn’t simply rain down. Nor is it a prize for being a perfect Christian. It can be ours if we choose. Moreover, we have the great pleasure of tending joy—watering and cultivating it in each season.
Happiness depends on circumstances—joy depends on God.
If your faith journey has looked anything like mine, maybe you didn’t believe joy was a part of your inheritance. I have often felt unworthy of experiencing joy and unsure of how to practice it. The enemy convinced me that I was broken. Seedlings of joy withered in the parched soil of defeat.
Too often, I have succumbed to the complete opposites of joy: anger, fear, bitterness, and complaint. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). Amid sorrow and discord, joy is not the natural place I enter. As believers, we require supernatural power and the Word of God to be victorious. Since the Bible mentions joy over 400 times, it is essential. Jesus wants you and me to have abundant joy, the same joy that David experienced: “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11). Joy is found only in God’s presence.
Ask any of my children to point out someone who best personifies joy, and they will quickly shout, “Grammy Jo!” The bar is set high. Unbeknownst to her, I have long been a student of my mother-in-law.
Many summers ago, we travelled through Glacier National Park en route to Vancouver Island in British Columbia. My in-laws were heading home after visiting Alberta and joined us for the first few days of the journey. We planned to hike Hermit Mountain, known for its steep ascent and stellar views. Arriving late afternoon, we began our trek—ascending deep switchbacks through subalpine forests and ending at a serene meadow.
Stunning in the evening light, I was too focused on our lack of planning to enjoy the moment. As time elapsed, my exasperation increased. I began to give my husband not-so-discreet signals that it was time to make our descent. My mind felt chaotic and full of questions. Please, not another photo! I don’t have time for this! Did anyone book a hotel? I’m starving! At the heart of it all was the thought that somehow I deserved better. Joy fails to thrive alongside ingratitude.
I raced down the mountain in a frantic fury, trying to beat sundown—every step jarring to my knees. Meanwhile, every word my mother-in-law spoke was full of thanks and praise. Lacking spiritual maturity, I was incensed. How could she be such a super-fountain of joy? “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).
Over time, I’ve ascertained that deep down, I wanted what she had. With Christ living in me, the fullness of joy that David speaks of is already mine! Joy is a supernatural superpower for frustrating moments when our self-righteous flesh would rather rule in irritation. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). Refuse the temptation to have a pity party, and the devil will most certainly bolt!
I consider the alpine plants along our hiking trail. In order to live in extreme conditions, they are resilient—surviving strong winds, harsh sun and temperatures, little water, and thin, rocky soil. Every yarrow and harebell have fought hard not only to exist, but also to thrive. Alpine flora grows in less-than-ideal circumstances, and so do God’s people! We can choose gratitude in the hard places—in that rocky relationship that has yet to improve, in the desolate season of feeling stuck, while walking through loss and grief, and amidst a life change that disrupts security. Praise exalts God even when we don’t feel it’s true, so keep singing. “[He is] my rock and my fortress” (Psalm 71:3). The psalmist looks up in prayer, praising the nature of God, and so may we!
Bereft of nutrients and feeling hopeless, joy lay down roots in my parched spirit years ago and started to grow! Joy encourages deep growth and long-lasting roots in the narrow spaces of my knotted-up heart. I’m not saying this is easy. Personally, it has been a slow process over the years as I seek to model joy for my children. Circumstances can easily trigger past pain and loss, sending us into dark places. But God has proven to me over and over again that he is bigger than my circumstances.
How will you choose joy today, dear sister in Christ? Praise him! Give thanks, for he is your keeper, strong fortress, hope, refuge, and trust. May we continue to grow more Christ-like with each opportunity we have to choose joy!
Kristine Amundrud is a poet of faith, passionate about story-work and friendships that go beneath the surface. @kamundrud
All Scripture quotations are from the English Standard Version of the Bible.