I grew up with a suitcase in hand.
As a young girl, I traveled back and forth between my mother’s home and my father’s home. Every three days, I packed my bag, piled into the car, and numbly stared at the fields along the twenty-minute drive, wishing I could throw the suitcase out the window. Oh, how I wanted home to be only one place.
Years later, I find myself with a similar longing. Someone recently asked for my address, and I instantly burst into tears; I didn’t know what to say. My husband and I have been between homes, waiting on the other side of the world for his visa to reenter the United States. But we’ve been wandering for a while. We met while my husband was planting a church in Canada, a country neither of us was from, and had to pack up and leave during the pandemic because our visas expired. My suitcase is with me now all the way in New Zealand, tattered and worn. We’ve lived with family, slept on friends’ couches, and stayed in Airbnbs, praying we can leave any day. Through it all, I can’t help but feel like that small girl again-–the one who just wanted to stay in one place for a while.
In the book of Psalms, there’s only one labeled as a prayer of Moses. Psalm 90 is a plea from the man who led his people through the wilderness and was without a home for forty years. It doesn’t open, though, with Moses speaking bitterly toward God. Rather, it starts, “Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.” Even in the midst of the desert, he is able to praise God. Later, in verse 13, when Moses asks, “Lord—how long? Turn and have compassion on your servants” (CSB), he is not asking to end the wander, but rather that God would fill him up in the waiting. “Satisfy us in the morning with your faithful love so that we may shout with joy and be glad all our days” (v. 14 CSB). While in the wilderness, and without any consistent resting place, Moses sought to find his stability, satisfaction, and joy in the Lord.
And we can do the same.
Whether I have a physical home or not, I can rest in my Father’s presence. I know he sees my every need and wants to provide for me. He has given me temporary homes, people to cry and pray with, and a church to encourage me every step of the way. I can dwell under his watchful eye and walk with him through every trial. Even with a suitcase in hand, I know I can be satisfied in a God who wants me to make him my home, wherever I am.
Alex Gale is a theology student, assistant at Bernie Moore Ministries International, and loving wife. @alexmgale
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the New International Version of the Bible. Verses labeled CSB are from the Christian Standard Bible.